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Transforming Conflicts

It is not a matter of overlooking differences, as is often taught. For it is those very differences that offer a profound connection.      ~ Diane Musho Hamilton

Leaning into Conflict

Entrenched patterns of conflict not only affect the individuals directly involved, but everyone else in the household. Over time, long-standing unresolved areas of frustration and hurt can easily permeate throughout the family culture to produce tenuously strained relationships. Finding ways to healthfully lean into conflict is exceptionally challenging for those whose own parents were not able to demonstrate compassion and curiosity during conflict. In my work, I help my client(s) unpack the key variables driving these conflicts, learn how our personal histories often contribute (below our awareness) to these relational challenges, and develop ways to deepen connection with those whom are most important to you.

Helping Parents & Their Children Thrive

Research demonstrates that while therapy can be helpful for chronically frustrated, emotionally reactive children it is the Parent(s) who have the most influential presence in their child's life. This is true even when the child seems to push back, shut down, or otherwise sabotage all of your best parenting efforts. In my work, I first meet with the parent(s) to learn about the nature of their worries and develop an understanding of their hopes for their child. From there, we begin to work together to on ways to shift ways they can approach their child depending that better reflects his/her emotional needs. I often encourage parents to eventually include their children into our sessions.

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Parenting Your Strong-Willed Child

 While characteristics such as tenacity and critical thinking can be positive attributes, these same qualities can manifest as stubbornness and outright defiance in an inflexible child. This can be very difficult on both the parents as well as the child. Together we will explore what different variables may be contributing to these frustrating patterns of conflict. From there, we discover more effective ways to respond to and eventually prevent chronically challenging situations.

Common Topics

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Fostering Your Child's Coping

More than ever before, children are challenged to meet ever increasing social-, academic- and technology-related demands. As a result, rates of anxiety and depression among youth are at concerning levels. Children feeling overwhelmed are often overly rigid, emotionally reactive, and argumentative. While therapy for an anxious child can be helpful, the strongest predictor for healthy emotional adjustment in a child are the strategies and supports parents implement at home. I help parents learn how to effectively model and nurture healthy coping and communication skills to better prepare their children for life's challenges ahead.

Common Topics

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Navigating Adolescence

Adolescence marks a time few adults would want to relive. Outside pressures including social, academic, and outside responsibilities can feel in direct conflict with the internal experience of fluctuations in hormones, developing sense of self, and the pull for independence. These external and internal pressures often result in emotional reactivity, physical withdrawal, and increased conflict at home. During this time, it is common for parents to find themselves tip-toeing around emotional landmines as they try to maintain loving but firm boundaries. I help parents learn different strategies on how to nurture responsible independence in their child. Using a relationally strength-based model, parents find conflicts are reduced, their teen becomes more communicative and parents feel their child is becoming a more capable young-adult.  

Common Topics

 

What It's Like to Struggle to Connect With My Child

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Struggling to feel successful with your child can take concerned parents along a gamut of thoughts and emotions. Some can include:

  • You may feel frustration and worry about whether your challenging your child too much or not enough.

  • The frequency of parent-child conflicts may be affecting your own mental health and self-care.

  • It may feel like you and your child's other parent have different, and even competing, expectations and disciplinary strategies.

  • Your feeling "stuck" on how to connect with your child.

  • You worry you may be running out of time to get your child on track toward a promising future.

  • You may be experiencing feelings of guilt and hopelessness around your own ability to effectively parent your child.

Parents are often surprised at how even small shifts in approaching their child can produce lasting and meaningful change. Together, we will explore ways to help you and your child be more successful while building on your own personal values and strengths as a parent.

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Working Through Parenting Differences

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Sprout - Erin Moran, Psy.D. | 500 Abernethy Road, Suite 203 | Oregon City, Oregon 97045

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